Case File: Episode 7 - The "Death Slide" Catastrophe and Spinal Injury Epidemic
On Episode 7 of operations, Goob Lagoon introduced a new inflatable slide attraction that immediately resulted in two fatalities and numerous severe injuries. The day was further characterized by a complete breakdown of safety protocols, leading to an epidemic of drownings and repeated instances of managerial assault.
Official Park Security Footage
By the Numbers: A Statistical Breakdown
40
Total Guests
67%
Satisfaction Rate
2
Fatalities
5
Near-Drownings
5
Managerial Assaults
7
Injuries
Chronology of Chaos
The Dual-Fatality "Death Slide" Inauguration
On day seventeen, in a display of gross negligence, Park Manager CaseOh opened a new, untested inflatable slide attraction. Due to improper placement, the slide's exit trajectory launched its first two patrons, identified as Mercy and Finn, directly onto the concrete walkway instead of into the pool. Both patrons suffered fatal injuries upon impact.
"NO! Lord have mercy! NO! ... Wait, I have to move it! Don't go down yet! Thank you!" - Park Manager CaseOh
Managerial Assault as a Method of "Guest Assistance"
Throughout the day, Manager CaseOh repeatedly resorted to physical violence against patrons. In one instance, a guest named Kaitlyn was showing hesitation on a diving board. Instead of de-escalating, the manager shoved her into the pool. Later, he physically assaulted a man identified as Maverick, who was simply standing outside a storefront, and tackled another man, Jorge, for being an "intruder."
"Get off the diving board!" - Park Manager CaseOh
The Drowning Epidemic and Systemic Lack of Safety Protocols
The operational day was marked by a severe and ongoing drowning crisis. At least five separate drowning incidents occurred, involving patrons Esmeralda, Juliana (twice), Adhara, and Reya. The park appears to operate with no certified lifeguards, leaving all rescue attempts to the sole, and often distracted, manager.
"Who's drowning?! ... Hold on ma'am! ... You saved me! ... You're good, thank you so much." - Park Manager CaseOh