Incident Report

Case File: Episode 5 - The "Brain-Eating Amoeba" Zone and Vandalism Spree

Episode 5 of Goob Lagoon's operation was marked by the introduction of the so-called "Brain-Eating Amoeba Death Zone," a new pool that quickly became a hotbed for near-drownings and injuries. The day also saw a significant increase in sanitation issues and a disturbing incident of managerial assault.

Official Park Security Footage

By the Numbers: A Statistical Breakdown

33

Total Guests

55%

Satisfaction Rate

14

Injuries

3

Near-Drownings

10

Sanitation Issues

5

Managerial Assaults

Chronology of Chaos

The "Brain-Eating Amoeba" Zone

On what was otherwise a day of supposed improvements, Park Manager CaseOh recklessly endangered patrons by creating a new, smaller pool dubbed the "Brain-Eating Amoeba Death Zone." This poorly-conceived attraction quickly became the epicenter of multiple near-drownings and injuries, demonstrating a shocking disregard for guest safety. The manager's response to the ensuing chaos was not one of concern, but rather excitement over the increased "action" in the park.

"You are the first person today to enter the brain-eating amoeba death zone." - Park Manager CaseOh

The Vandalism Spree and Subsequent Assault

A guest, identified as Victor, was observed vandalizing park property with graffiti. Rather than contacting security or having the individual removed, Park Manager CaseOh took matters into his own hands. After a brief chase, the manager physically assaulted the guest by pushing him off a diving board into a pool. This act of violence was not only unprofessional but also a clear violation of park safety protocols.

"Get out of my water park right now!" - Park Manager CaseOh

Mass Contamination and Sanitation Breakdown

The park experienced a severe sanitation crisis, with numerous patrons exhibiting "stink clouds," indicating a lack of basic hygiene. The manager's attempts to clean up "dookie" and other messes were infrequent and inadequate, leading to widespread contamination. At one point, the manager himself became a vector for contamination, spreading filth throughout the park. The situation culminated in a biohazard incident in one of the pools, which was not properly cleaned or closed off to guests.

"There's brain-eating amoebas in the pool!" - Park Manager CaseOh