Incident Report

Case File: Episode 20 - The Cascade of Lacerations

Episode 20 of operations at Goob Lagoon was a catastrophic failure of safety and management. The park was plagued by an unprecedented wave of over a dozen fatalities, primarily stemming from the new "Death Loop" attraction. This, coupled with rampant managerial assaults and a lifeguard's continued misconduct, marks one of the most dangerous days in the park's history.

Official Park Security Footage

By the Numbers: A Statistical Breakdown

114

Total Guests

81%

Satisfaction Rate

16

Fatalities

9

Near-Drownings

9

Managerial Assaults

13

Injuries & Slips

Chronology of Chaos

The "Death Loop" Mass Casualty Incident

A new, improperly tested green and yellow waterslide, referred to by patrons as the "Death Loop," was the site of numerous fatalities. The attraction's flawed design consistently failed to contain riders, launching them at extreme velocities over safety walls and onto the pavement below. This resulted in approximately sixteen (16) deaths in a single operational day. Management's reaction was not to immediately close the ride but to watch in morbid fascination as the casualties mounted.

"Did that dude just get decapitated?!" - Park Manager CaseOh

The Negligent Lifeguard

The park's lifeguard, an employee identified as "Kade," continued a documented pattern of gross misconduct. He was observed on multiple occasions physically pushing patrons from the high-dive platform. These actions, which led to at least one fatality, were not only ignored by management but were seemingly anticipated, indicating a complete failure of employee supervision and a shocking disregard for guest safety.

"Oh my goodness, Kade!" - Park Manager CaseOh

Management's Endorsement of Vigilante Justice

In response to multiple instances of vandalism, including graffiti being sprayed on park property, Manager CaseOh repeatedly chose to forsake standard security procedures. Instead, he armed himself with a baseball bat and personally assaulted the perpetrators. This pattern of violent vigilantism demonstrates a profound failure to maintain a safe and orderly environment, with the manager himself acting as a primary instigator of violence.

"Caught a Vandal! Good job!" - Park Manager CaseOh