Incident Report

Case File: Episode 2 - The "Big Boy Slide" and Amoeba Outbreak

Episode 2 was a day of unprecedented disaster at Goob Lagoon, marked by the introduction of the lethally unsafe "Big Boy Slide" and the discovery of a hazardous "Goobus amoebus" outbreak.

Chronology of Chaos

The "Big Boy Slide" Catastrophe

On Day 16 of operations, the park introduced the "Big Boy" inflatable slides, which led to immediate and severe injuries. The manager's assertion that "Everything is literally safe" was immediately contradicted by a series of catastrophic injuries.

"That dude's spine just snapped in half." - Park Manager CaseOh, witnessing the first of many injuries

Negligence in Motion

In a shocking display of mismanagement, the Park Manager attempted to physically reposition the slide *while a patron was already in motion*. This resulted in the patron overshooting the pool and sustaining severe blunt force trauma, followed by drowning.

"Wait, I have to move it! Don't go down yet! ... Lord have mercy... Ma'am, are you okay?" - Management's Confession of Culpability

Biohazard Alert: The "Goobus Amoebus"

A previously unknown strain of brain-eating amoeba, *"Goobus amoebus,"* was discovered in the park's murky waters. The amoeba thrives in poorly sanitized environments, a hallmark of Goob Lagoon. When confronted, the owner claimed the hazard was "advertised."

"Yes, you were [told about the amoebas]. It's advertised!" - Park Manager CaseOh, confirming his awareness of the biohazard.