Incident Report

Case File: Episode 18 - The Drowning Epidemic and Managerial Paralysis

Episode 18 of operations at Goob Lagoon was a catastrophic failure of safety and management. The park was plagued by an unprecedented wave of over a dozen drownings, rampant vandalism, and repeated instances of managerial assault, culminating in one of the most dangerous days on record.

Official Park Security Footage

By the Numbers: A Statistical Breakdown

104

Total Guests

75%

Satisfaction Rate

7

Managerial Assaults

14

Near-Drownings

17

Sanitation Issues

51

Injuries & Slips

Chronology of Chaos

The Drowning Epidemic and Managerial Paralysis

The park experienced an unprecedented fourteen (14) separate drowning incidents in a single operational period. At multiple points, two or even three patrons were in distress simultaneously in different pools, overwhelming the park's non-existent safety infrastructure. The manager, CaseOh, was observed to be audibly panicked and incapable of responding effectively to the simultaneous emergencies. His rescue attempts were consistently delayed and chaotic, demonstrating a complete and catastrophic failure of the park's safety and rescue protocols.

"Oh my God!" - Park Manager CaseOh, upon witnessing a triple-drowning event.

Endemic Vandalism and Managerial Complicity

Throughout the day, multiple instances of vandalism were recorded, with guests spray-painting phrases such as "Dookie Everywhere" and "I HATE THIS PARK" on park surfaces. Instead of cleaning the graffiti or ejecting the vandals, Manager CaseOh was often observed ignoring the defacement entirely. On several occasions, he directly engaged with the vandals not with disciplinary action, but with physical assault via a baseball bat, escalating the chaos rather than restoring order.

"I regret everything!" - Park Manager CaseOh, after assaulting a guest for vandalism.

The Assault on the High Dive

A female patron, identified as Giselle, was observed hesitating on the high-dive platform, clearly in a state of panic or indecision. Rather than offering assistance or de-escalating the situation, Manager CaseOh approached the guest from behind and, without warning, physically shoved her off the platform into the pool below. This unprovoked assault demonstrates a shocking disregard for guest safety and professional conduct, turning a moment of guest apprehension into a case of managerial battery.

"Fly like a gazelle!" - Park Manager CaseOh, immediately before pushing the guest.