Case File: Episode 16 - The "Death Slide" Fatality and Trespassing Conspiracy
Episode 16 of Goob Lagoon's operation saw a catastrophic escalation in managerial negligence. The reckless introduction of the untested "Death Slide" in the new "Simpleton Shores" area led to the park's latest fatality. This was compounded by rampant vandalism, multiple drownings, and a shocking instance of employee misconduct allowing trespassers to freely enter the park.
Official Park Security Footage
By the Numbers: A Statistical Breakdown
99
Total Guests
75%
Satisfaction Rate
1
Fatalities
3
Near-Drownings
11
Sanitation Issues
16
Injuries
Chronology of Chaos
The "Simpleton Shores" Fatality
The manager unveiled a new, sand-filled expansion named "Simpleton Shores," featuring a hastily constructed, untested water slide explicitly named the "Death Slide." Despite the ominous name, patrons were immediately allowed access. Predictably, a guest descended the slide and was fatally injured upon impact with the ground, confirming the attraction's lethality.
"It's only called the death slide because you'll almost die from having so much fun." - Park Manager CaseOh
Rampant Vandalism and Managerial Inaction
The park suffered a severe breakdown in decorum, with multiple instances of graffiti appearing on park walls. Vandals were observed spray-painting phrases such as "SO MUCH PEE" and "GLIZZY NATION." Instead of addressing the vandalism by removing the individuals responsible or immediately cleaning the affected areas, the manager often allowed the graffiti to remain for extended periods.
"So much pee!" - Park Manager CaseOh
Gross Negligence in Staff Management
An employee, Kaiser, was observed allowing a non-paying individual, identified as his cousin "Kaizen," to enter the park without a ticket. This act of collusion resulted in a loss of revenue and a breach of park security protocols. The manager identified the trespasser but failed to remove him or reprimand the employee in a timely or effective manner.
"Is there a conspiracy theory going on here? Did he just let his cousin in?" - Park Manager CaseOh