Case Files & Mounting Evidence

Our investigation into the Goob Lagoon continues to uncover a shocking pattern of negligence, bizarre workplace incidents, and outright hostility. Below are key findings.

Employee Dossier: A Culture of Incompetence

File #004: River - The Frontline Sufferer

Positioned at the ticket counter, River is the first and last employee most patrons see. He bears the brunt of the manager's chaotic energy, constantly being told to "lock in" for impending disasters. River is forced to sell tickets and park passes to a facility he knows is a deathtrap, making him a key witness to the park's culture of willful negligence. His stoic demeanor in the face of madness is a testament to the hostile work environment he endures daily.

File #002: Joaquin - The Misguided Janitor

Subject demonstrates a revolutionary, yet wholly ineffective, approach to park sanitation. Video evidence captures Joaquin diligently sweeping the inside of a pool full of water and cleaning already spotless pavement while actively ignoring hazardous spills and visible trash. He was later the victim of workplace violence when the manager pushed him into a pool. This pattern of behavior highlights a fundamental failure in staff training and supervision.

File #003: Atlas (TERMINATED) - The Saboteur

Former employee Atlas was terminated following a series of inexplicable system-wide failures. His work ethic was so poor that he made his replacement, Joaquin, look like a model employee by comparison. Was Atlas a disgruntled employee, or a whistleblower silenced before he could expose the truth? The investigation is ongoing.

Evidence Locker: Park Hazards & Vandalism

Exhibit A: The Graffiti Files (A Cry for Help)

"POOP EVERYWHERE"

"i like trains"

"Queso was here"

These desperate messages, scrawled by patrons, paint a grim picture of the park's atmosphere.

Victim Testimonials

"I broke my femur at the GoobLagoon."

- Kayla

"The owner had us swim with literal garbage because he would rather throw the garbage bags across the pool instead of walking those extra 40 steps to the bin."

- Dani

"I pooped myself there."

- nicoleispunk

"I slipped in a puddle and the owner started mopping before I could even try to get up, then he got mad and hit me with a sledgehammer."

- ash's vids